The addition to a relationship of divorce adds a new unencumbered realization of the struggle, that of unabashed and unequivocal distance. The distance one with children never realizes or respects until such time as it is upon us.
This is the story of a man (Me) going through a separation and divorce at the ripe old age of 41. I harbor no ill will towards my ex and I will not visit that territory as it is guarded and I guard it with my trust and loyalty.
This is a journey, though unexpected and not warranted, but needed and necessary. We both feel alike, but wish it had not come to this. We both want and love our children as often as possible, but the struggle to actually 'have' them is the real story here.
We raise and love them, we teach them, we discipline them, we covet them, but still we ARE their parents and we want what is undeniably the best for them. The struggle need not include them to any extent more than is absolutely necessary. Some parents pit one against the other…this is not our plight. We chose from the beginning to endure and make this less about 'us' and all about 'them'. We both love our children without limits and starve when they are not with us. We feast upon their visits and revel in their light. We know that life is just a flicker in a candle we have yet to truly see, but a time in which we will share onto our fledglings the story of love and deliverance and bewilderment all brought about by the first time any of us were told were we to be parents.
We can never know or even pretend to acknowledge the things our parents gave us, whether positive or negative, for what they truly felt for us. We are all loving and caring and absolute in our resolve of our children. We want a long life, a friend-filled story, and a loving relationship for our little ones soon to take hold of our future.
For that, as one of you, I salute YOU, the parents of the world!