There are few career opportunities that are more closely guarded than the soft underbelly of the mattress and pillow industry. For decades this secret subculture has decided what sleep products would be made available to the general public based on the greedy proprietors of the bedding industry. The covert organization, (Sleep, Toke, Drink-or STD for short), has been overseeing this multi billion dollar per year industry with a tyrannical hold since the early days of the hay and feather bedding revolution.
In the early 1200's an unregulated glut of bedding products were being sold without so much as an oversight committee or formal regulatory guidelines to control production. There were hundreds, if not thousands, of rogue mattress and pillow makers producing inferior bedding materials to unleash on the unsuspecting and sleepy public. These bastards-of-industry colluded to create the first known sleep monopoly ever. This sect's sole purpose was to control the sleeping public through inferior products, thus reducing the general public's quality and quantity of sleep and luring them into a sleep deprived state in which they could be more easily controlled and/or manipulated.
Folklore spoke, though under the guise of "fairy tales", attempting to uncover these evil practices of STD. Stories like the Princess and the Pea, Sleeping Beauty, Rip Van Winkle, Snow White, and the like strove to unveil these tyrants for what they were…frauds! Through the ages these stories were told and retold; their meanings being diluted through time and mis-tellings to the unrecognizable folklore we know today.
Fast forward to the early 17th century; government regulators have now dipped their greedy paws into the previously unrealized fortunes of STD and created new laws and regulations to break up the private monopoly, in lieu of a government monopoly. The new organization would provide simple, cushy, overpaid positions for the blue-bloods and ultra rich, all subsidized with tax payers monies. There were no official titles, no decrees or interviews, just rich-word-of-mouth by rich-word-of-mouth appointments.
This new monopoly went unnoticed and silent for hundreds of years until, by chance, on January 20, 2001-the organization changed their leadership and the information was leaked to the public. This formerly unnamed organization was thrust into the public spotlight with much dismay, distrust, and distain. The name of this organization once known throughout the land as STD, we now know today as…
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